• Lathey Counselling

What to wish for...

How can we identify our lusts and dreams. Happiness is our aim for the outcome right, the experience of emotion (happiness) when we realise the dreams? We don't all, however have dreams, we don't all feel interested in any specific hopes and dreams at any purposeful level. To a level which can enthuse us and drive us to feel value and purpose, in our lives and ourselves. Maybe we feel depressed and hopeless or just tired of trying. It's hard work after all, pursuing a desire. Being interested in making something happen, getting motivated, causing a feeling of happiness in realising these lusts. Finding the strength to identify a dream at all, might seem too much. Was it "Captain Sensible" in the eighties? who sang about "if you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true". Get a dream!

Our life experience informs us, maybe, that our dreams are not achievable or realistic. Some dreams may not be. I will never be Prime Minister, but I can feel I contribute to our country some other way fulfilling a desire behind the bigger unrealistic goal. If you imagine a mountain with the pinnacle of your dream at the top we can all make a start to step up the foothills and aim high, be proud and find happiness in our journey. It's not achieving a dream that's the point it's acheiving the feeling of happiness purpose and satisfaction the dream promises, that's the target.

If we lust after toffee, maybe it seems to us that our friends, all have a big bag of toffee! We also want, but maybe cannot afford a bag, or don't know how to get one. We can accept that we don't get to eat toffee and go back to bed, or we can set about climbing that dream mountain.

To understand what we might want with the toffee, will inform our process of exploration and our route to our own 'bag of toffee'. Is it the taste? One toffee gives that. The feeling of inclusion with our peers? is it a way to eat away our unhappy emotions? Finding the underlying motivation for our presenting dreams may uncover a new way to understand it. We can change our route up 'Happiness Mountain', accordingly and change the dream too.

We could save for a bag of toffee, share our friends bag to feel included, sharing back our own sweets with them perhaps, or realise it's not toffee at all, but that our dream is to be slim and healthier, a dream we might hide behind a mask of self doubt and a pre accepted script of "I can't", self sabotaging with toffee and so reaffirming that our dream is definitely unachievable. Maybe toffee takes us back to a secure happy childhood when stress was unknown. When we didn't need toffee to be happy but it was there triggering our desire now. We need to task ourselves with addressing our stressors in life. Perhaps all we need, to be happy is just one toffee at a time. After all, no one can eat a hole bag at once. One toffee is surly reachable.

Making a start on the way to a dream could be a, revealing, healing and personally fulfilling task emotionally.


I am based in Northfleet - Near A2 and Ebbsfleet high speed Rail Station - 07989 042 688

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